" Is this how you spell 'regret'? "

to the place where I belong

Fri, 01 Jun 2007 07:43:24 GMT

Reguardless of who still writes or even reads here, I wanted to make a public entry.

For whatever reason, I'm not falling asleep. I couldn't help but read some old joiurnal entriesl; this was the best line I read over: I told Sara he is the most adorable thing ever. It feels like being 15 is a lot more than 3 years ago, but I giggle just the same when I think of that Christmas party. I am going back there 2 weeks from today.

This song is absolutely perfect.

other updates: went on a lot of disaster dates recently, VERY short lived boyfriend (8 days), work has become Telemundo, full time sucks, went on a date with a guy thats liked me for a year, asked out a girl who has a girlfriend, losing weight, dad's in intensive care, mom's crazy brother passed away and her sister took over as the family psycho, uhhh my ear popped 3 days ago and won't pop back, and my most beloved conductor does not run my train home anymore. :[ The latter of all that is honestly the most distressing.

cannot wait for vacation.

Mon, 05 Mar 2007 03:12:21 GMT

Congratulations to me and my two years on being vegan. I've been vegetarian, loosely, for over 10 years, but the past two years have been amazing considering all that I have changed and accomplished and decided about my future and my career and I really rock at run on sentences. Its pretty much two years to the day, and just like last year I am about to go out on the Taste of Chaos for a few days. I'm also pretty sure I'm going to be a finalist in another peta2 contest-- I'll keep you posted.

Welcome to the world, Marian Zaire Orange. My best friend had her second baby March 1st. Coming from someone who is not a fan of anything younger than me, I love this baby! I'm going to spoil her rotten...

I got a new job, and I start next week. They hired me before I even finished the application, it was amazing. Its going to change so much in my life. I've been going through everything without two of my oldest best friends, but those bitches cut me off and fuck them. I am tired of getting on trains to God knows where to see someone who won't even fucking call me. Fuck you both, it is your loss. Neither of them even pay attention to this, so anything I say doesn't matter anyway. I'm just angry to the core about being taken for granted, and I could rant about it for paragraphs. Only then I would be overshadowing that I've gaining a new extended family and I'm getting sooo much closer to beautiful Norfolk...

la da da...

Wed, 14 Feb 2007 04:40:18 GMT

Its come to my attention that I have yet to write a public entry this year. Does anyone feel like commenting to keep in touch?

PETA2 asked me to table with them at Taste of Chaos in Chicago, and I might go to Milwaukee, too. For some reason, I am very nervous. Last year was a struggle, and if anyone punches me again I won't have Rob or the rest of Adair to back me up... Also on that note, a new job is on the way. I just fell madly in love with one of my weekly regulars, though. I call him Gene because he has an attitude bigger than the Great Wall of China. I do know his name, though. Our chats are the absolute high point of my work days, and I will miss him dearly if I can't drag him to my new job. I will miss all of my regular men, from the guy that burned me a cd to the guy that calls me Cyndi Lauper (and all the ones that say I look like Christina Aguilera) to the big solid muscle guy who makes me giggle nonstop.

Something I've wanted since I was very small was to be popular, to know everyone, but honest to God talking to everyone that I meet downtown seems to really have only hurt me badly. I don't understand how grown men can lie straight through their fucking teeth about a little girl who just tries to be nice and fucking bakes cookies. I baked them cookies. Why are you goossiping about me...? Metra breaks my spirit sometimes.

Somewhat on that note-- attn married men: STAY AWAY! What am I, some kind of fucking magnet?! There is a relationship that I am trying to make work. As much as I just don't, I think I really want to attach myself to something/someone positive and stay out of trouble.

There's been a God awful blizzard going on. There is a foot of snow on the ground, and I own no boots. My train stalled on the tracks for about half an hour, but at least it's no where near as bad as South Chicago trains in the rain that slide through open intersections. My parents offered to just pay me what I make in a day if I stay home from work tomorrow, but you might as well ask me to not see Mest on my birthday (okay, not the best example anymore). I am about to run downstairs and bake some heart and kiss shaped cookies and brownies drowned in rum.

I actually had planned on going to see a friend's band tonight. He was going to be my valentine, and I thought it was funny we both coincedentally dressed up for each other. The show ended up getting cancelled at the last minute, and I ended up compensating by sucking down a soy almond latte (long live Seattle) and shopping. Downtown walking down the streets, so beautiful.... I bought/made this:

Tomorrow is Valentine's Day, and it is bound to be a hot mess. I can feel it in my bones. From someone who told me they cared about me more than anyone else turning their back on me, to me fucking punching my man over the weekend, whatever happens tomorrow night will be a last minute plan. In spite of some bitches, though, it is my favorite holiday, and I will try to make it a good one. This heartlock really makes me feel so good...

Your eyes are electric tonight.

Fri, 22 Dec 2006 06:23:31 GMT

My year is complete when we hit Christmastown. It's the only thing we still do today that we did 4 years ago, where nothing has changed and no one has ever interupted. [except over the phone, but I'll stop griping about that now.] Every year I buy us chocolate covered gingerbread hearts and buy myself an ornament, though this year I have no tree I could not pass up a glittery leopard print ornament.

I baked about 4 dozen cookies and delivered them to my favorite Metra men. I am starting to handle being the foundation for everyone's gossip a lot easier now. I need to buy more mistletoe before my train home tomorrow... ;)

Kids scamming downtown should not fuck with me. I don't care if you're twice my size, I will call you out and when you flip out on me calling me a bitch do not be surprised when you make no money that day. You are fucking chicken shit scammers that I have watched work for years and I have seen these kids run from being arrested before (WHY RUN IF YOU ARE ONLY 'FUNDRAISING'?!) You give the rest of us honest leafletters a bad rep. So don't mess. Don't mess.

This year has of course been rocky as shit with probably more lows than highs, but I swear the best part of my year has been getting hired. I don't think my boss understands the chance he took hiring me when no one else would, and how down and desperate I was for a job. Not to mention, I would be without my new best friend, my first real best friend in the city... She has been the best part of my year. However. I actually haven't gone to work the past two days because I've been painfully weak. It's the effect of something that I know is my fault, but I really crashed hard and could barely get out of bed. If I rest through the weekend I should be okay for a few more months, when I'll definitely be out of commision for a week again.

This isn't my end of the year entry, though, so I'll end it here. Have a good weekend! ♥

You can find me in...

Tue, 19 Dec 2006 10:07:04 GMT

St. Louis is no longer on my shit list, though I'll admit it had no real reason to be there in the first place.

And with that said! I came back from a weekend trip to the lou earlier today.

While I try to use my cookies for good and not naughtyness, I love that all of a sudden someone sure does flirt with me quiet a bit.

I stayed up all through Friday night baking snow men and chocolate chunk cookies. I absolutely loved hearing Patrick pick up a cookie and exclaim, "This one has a blue scarf!" Pretty much no two were alike -- hand frosted with all different details -- and I was so excited to deliver about five dozen cookies to my favorite vegan boys. They really appreciated it! I know they did. It's such a sweet change of pace to hang out with a St. Louis band who loves my cookies and is nice to me! HA.

I forgot how much fun it was to travel to a new city to meet someone for the first time.

Ever since Seattle, I have [missed Adair and] been really eager to sight see when I am out of town. Sabrina took me to the Arch. They take you up in tiny fucking space capsles, I swear. No windows, barely 3 feet wide... crazy shit, not to mention the cars rock and you are going up on an angle. It was amazing, though. St. Louis is great city, I know, and I barely saw any of it. I just had such a great trip.

I truely, truely love Adair and someone [else] was saying to me recently it's a lot easier to be friends with someone when you don't like their music. It's true. Holy shit, though, do I love I Buried My Heart In Cosmo Park. I love how, when we were hanging out, Rob turned to Jeff to find out where in the set they were playing it and I told Rob, completely talking out of my ass, they should play it third. Sure enough, they listened. It was hilarious; I had just got done telling Sabrina no body says no to me...... "Anything for you," he told me. ♥

Kiss under the mistletoe. He is just about my favorite vegan man ever.

I have so much more I could say. It was such a fun trip. If anyone wants to see more photos, comment [all comments are screened.] and I may update or edit during the week!

All those things that you hide...

Wed, 13 Dec 2006 05:40:34 GMT

I'm pretty long over due for a public entry, yes? What have you missed..... Well, since October...

glitter, glitter, glitter!!!

Since this is more than likely my last Christmas in the city, I've been trying to hit all of the little festival things going down. I've seen more fireworks in the past month than I think I've seen in the past 5 years.

I've been dealing with Chicago drama a lot better lately. People come and go so quickly here! (place the quote, win a cookie!) I truely am closing in on the days when I say good-bye. PETA wants me to intern now.

I got a new car and a new computer.

I've seriously been house shopping. Please please please, Blue Island here I come!! Kenwood/Hyde Park has also been in the talks, but I can't fathom ever having a REAL purpose of taking South Chicago trains every day! ha.

I've extremely on and off been dating someone completely amazing, a little too amazing if you ask me...

I came to the conclusion that my coworker Stacy is completely amazing and I don't know how I could have kept living in this city working this job all this time without her. She is the Britney to my Paris, or the Robin to my Batman (literally).

I spent Thanksgiving with her family (will be Christmas, too) and they told me they'd gladly take me in their family as long as I keep bringing cookies. What a great deal!

Metra men are ridiculous. Stop talking about me!! You don't know me!!! (Eh, Krista!)

However, recently there was a... situation in a Metra station. Gun man, hostages, victims, the entire block shut down for the whole nine yards. This is about the third time that something like this has happened since I started working in the loop in July. It hit too close to home to have one of my best friends involved in this, and though in the end it turned out to have truely nothing to do with Metra it fucking shook me up. I couldn't stop thinking of him, and how he's told me before, "You've always got to be looking out around here. You never know when someone could just be outside shooting for fun. That's why you have to live every day like it's your last." "Stop! You're making me nervous," I told him. "Why?" "Because you just are. I don't want to hear it, so stop." But I kept hearing it over and over again Friday night..... the whole speech, what everyone has told me about where I ride through on my trains, and I thought of everyone but myself and how my whole love for downtown can be taken away in a flash. So it's felt extremely good to have seen all of my favorite men lately. Saturday night I didn't want him to let me go.

I've found this customer who just might be the most amazing man to have ever come by the restaurant, ever. Every time I see him walking up, I think to myself "Here comes Gene!" not because he looks anything like Gene Louis, but because he has the hugest fucking attitude and damn is he hilarious. He's incredibly off beat and quirky, and in spite of the massive lacking of heart tattoos I think I like him more because unlike Gene he says I'm the best and he loves me! If I find out he works in the bulding, I have to ask him to be my date to the Christmas party! Damn I already have so many people asking me to dance. I won't sit down all night! I'm only going on the condition of lots of free booze. This will be a fun train ride home!!! :x

The State of Illinois building Christmas party is this Thursday. My company party is hopefully Friday. I pulled my boss' name in the grab bag. Stacy pulled my name and I know this because [in her own words] she couldn't keep a secret if it were water and her name was camel. I've never done anything like this for Christmas, it's exciting! I cannot decide if I want to wear a purple dress with red fishnets or a short-sleeved green top with a long-sleeved red lace top under it with a leopard mini skirt. In addition to everything else that is so par-for-the-course at this point, it's nice that THIS has been what's on my mind more than anything else all week. Well, not quite more than how I am going to St. Louis this weekend!!!! My fucking trinity, a brand new friend, my vegan boys, my future husband helllllll yeaaaaaah. ♥

!!!

Sun, 05 Nov 2006 04:36:04 GMT

I am nominated for peta2’s Libby Awards Best Star Street Teamer of 2006!!! Please click HERE & vote for me. :]

xo ♥

smart ass.

Mon, 30 Oct 2006 05:28:28 GMT

I flew to Seattle Friday night, what did you do? I bet it was not nearly as lovely as seeing a man covered in heart tattoos at a club called El Corazon. He knows that I was just thrilled to pieces over that. I think his face melted when I handed over a bucket of heartlock cookies. I fucking love him & Bullets and Octane so much. There's nothing better than dancing my heart out in the front row. Less than one more month until show #12... I cannot wait to see those babes again.

♥ xxxo.

I love making him blush.

Wed, 11 Oct 2006 06:08:24 GMT

The past few days have been amazing thanks to a select few.
Hearts and 'bows were thrown. I love you all so much.

Nothing can stop us now.

Sat, 30 Sep 2006 19:49:16 GMT

My birthday was Wednesday.

Monday, a coworker of mine shook my hand with a bill folded inside and told me to buy myself a dress. After I got off my train downtown, I ran into a pretty sweet man who paid me a lot of compliments. It was a great start for my birthday! Ash and I met up around our old spot and headed off for the northside to go to the Chicago Diner. I knew the only way I'd ever get him to go to a vegan restaraunt in Boystown was if it was my birthday or the night before I moved out of Chicago... and obviously, I'm still here. The tables completely turned: I ordered a big dinner, and he made a meal out of potatos. It was hilarious. I felt kind of bad, but I had a really good time and I really, really am thrilled to pieces that he at least tried a few slivers of vegan meat and cake.

There is a phantom package that my mom ordered for my birthday. It's yet to arrive. I don't think she has ever mail-ordered something for me before. She rarely shops for me at all, for anything. The best part about this is, from what I understand by her hints, she's not even completely sure what she ordered! I'm as excited to open it as I am excited to see her reaction to this thing. I got a few checks and twenties packed into cards from astranged relatives. Beggars can't be chosers, but I almost really don't like getting those cards. Almost. Ash made me a card, and bought me something pretty special. That and my dress are the only real things I've gotten thusfar. One person called me. My best friend forgot. There was no sign of anything Mest-related. It had some really strange points, but it was a pretty nice day. Any fun that was lagging behind will be made up for October 27th... ♥

And on that note... you guys thought it was weird that I wanted to follow Family Values? Yeah well, in November I'll be following around Papa Roach like a lost puppy. You know why... I fucking love those babes.

take me for granted for this one last time.

Sat, 23 Sep 2006 07:09:55 GMT

I am not telling you exactly what I did today; all I will say is that, in the works is possibly the most exciting thing of my youth. It makes me feel amazing, because it's all over these dolls that I adore to pieces.

It seems like I have no plans for my birthday, this Wednesday. I am bitter. I really miss Mest. You have no idea...

Humor me as I post a...
WISH LIST
· detailed, home made cards
· mix cds
· this box of mints with Emily from Corpse Bride on the front
· something that I've forgotten, that I've told you was special to me, but is so small, that I've over looked it right now...
and that's about it, unless anyone wants to pick up things like Marlboro lights, Smashbox cosmetics, this or a Tiffany necklace.

xo.

hand-guns for hearts.

Thu, 21 Sep 2006 05:57:45 GMT

One year ago today... I wonder if Joey remembers as well as I do inching closer to the stage, and when I turned to her and said "We need to find their singer later. He's going to be my new friend!" I can't believe how much I've come to adore them.

However, if I ever doubted it, I've come to learn that boys in bands are certainly not relationship material. And with the exception of that, life has been smoothing out a lot lately. Autumn and winter do that; this is my favorite time of year. I knew that going to see RANCID two days in a row was going to set a tone for the rest of the year. I'm so pleased that I met Matt Freeman. :] Work has been quite alright. I had some lovely surprise visitors today, old friends from my first job... no one quite tops my favorite, er second favorite Irish guy, though. I've gotten humus for breakfast two days in a row. I am so glad that I found that little Meditteranian place in the back of the cafeteria! I think Friday I am going to spend about $20 on food there, to stock up for the weekend. I wish there were more cute men who worked in the state building. I am getting pretty disgusted with getting hit on by men twice my age. There was this nice young guy a few days ago that said something cute -- he wanted me to charge his AmEx card, and since we don't take that, it went something like: "You guys don't take AmEx, do you?" "Nope." "UGH. I don't like you guys. Well, I like you, but I don't like the rest of you." Stacy, my fellow cashier, was joking about how she gets all the people with crazy shit to say, and I get all the men that hit on me. She is awesome. There is this cute boy that I found working here the other day... more on that some other day, maybe. On my way into the building today, there was a storybook reading of Monsters Inc. It premiers on ice here next Wednesday, which I'd oh-so-casually like to mention is my birthday. I keep forgetting that I have a doctor's appoitment tomorrow morning, and I'll have to wake up over an hour earlier than usual for it... :[

Keep in touch. How is everyone's first semester, etc. going?

♥ RANCID ♥

Thu, 14 Sep 2006 03:51:01 GMT

What did YOU do last night?!

xo.

guilty by association.

Wed, 06 Sep 2006 02:09:45 GMT

I love working across the street from one of my best friends.

Ladies and gentlemen, it is September!!!! It is Autumn. It is beautiful. It is the beginning of the best part of the year. It is barely 3 weeks until my birthday!!! and this time next week I will be dancing my heart out at the House of Blues for Rancid. ♥

I finally bought a memory card for my camera. You can expect lots badly aimed photos all the time now. :]

mine mine mine.

Tue, 29 Aug 2006 02:46:57 GMT

Hey darlings. How was your weekend?! I'd have to say mine was quite special. Leave comments and keep in touch.

Thursday night, I just couldn't handle the idea of my favorite band playing directly across from a Greyhound station WITHOUT me dancing my heart out in the front row. That said, I woke up at about 5 AM Friday morning and hauled ass out to the Iowa border to catch a Bullets and Octane show on the Family Values tour.

I'm pretty sweet on this man.
I ♥ when he wraps his arms around me.

I've only been hitting these shows for about 11 months, but Friday night was my 10th show. I'll spare you from my gushing; I'll just say that when we first saw each other, some of them definitely geeked out more than I did. I've never seen such a huge, cute grin than when their singer tried to strike a tough pose and stare down all the kids on the barricade right before show time and then completely geeked out when he saw me. I could hear him yell "HIIII!!!!" over the speakers. They are fucking precious, and so fantastic on stage.

I formally apologize to any pretty lady at a show that I ever snickered at when I was younger. It's not fun to be judged for my looks, but it sure is a fucking blast to be the pretty lady who is getting escorted to the barricade without a ticket, gets picks and drumsticks, lead by the hand backstage and anything else to make my night more fun. I've fallen into something really wild here.

10 shows and our year isn't even up... ♥
looks like I might go see those babes on the left coast soon. We'll see how that goes.
xxxo.

Things just aren't the same 'round here...

Fri, 18 Aug 2006 01:07:21 GMT

Promise me that you'll be okay
Keep in touch if miles away
I'm hangin' in the way that I know how

Take good care and I'll see you soon
Ring you up this afternoon
I'm cool with how things have to be right now

You'll hear me on your speakers
Everywhere you go
Wearing your worn out sneakers
Kickin' down the road
Just take this song until I see you at the show...

I will miss you.

It's not enough to survive if you're losing you mind.

Sat, 05 Aug 2006 23:10:43 GMT

My first fucking paycheck, thank you very much.
note -- That's from about 16 hours since I didn't start until Tuesday.

I like my job. Minimum wage, 20 hours, 5 days a week in the heart of the city with a ton of interesting people to see and really nice coworkers, yeah... not too bad at all. And here's a real shocker: I really like making milk shakes. There's a man who always pays in half dollar coins, a man who only orders one or two chicken fingers... I love the guy with the Irish accent who always calls me love! I'm pretty slow with taking orders and making change, though... it really annoys me that my boss is calling me slow compared to the other cashier who has been working there for 4 years. But you know, whatever...

I love this song. This band is amazing. ♥
So on that note, Warped Tour was last weekend. Due to unforseen circumstances, me and my girls missed some of the bands we wanted to see the most... which for me, meant Damone. Luckily, as I walked in the door, there they were! "You look familiar..." "Uh, yeah! I followed the Bullets and Octane tour." ha. I adore them all... I got a chance to gush to Noelle about how much I suddenly adore this band. I'm going to have so much fun following them on tour... So my day was almost shot from that point on. I got to see one of my favorite vegan boys! Actually, I got to see a lot of nice vegan boys! I had no idea Colin was one of the PETA2 staffers on this tour, so that was definitely the best surprise of the day. And you know, I guess as long as no one is grumbling about heart tattoos or calling me 'bullets,' then I really like the Adair boys! Hanging out with them by the RV was incredibly awkward. If someone could explain to me what Patrick meant by saying "Sorry, I thought I was on a date" 500 times to me, I would appreciate it! It was a good day, missing bands, getting lost and all. Joey and Laura are great girls.

This week went by so quickly, and the end of the year always gets so crazy anyway. The day that I was looking forward to the most completely bombed. Pay days are fun. I guess buying a big, soft, squishy messanger bag makes up for being forgotten the day before. Having a full time job, being on the phone with my best friend for 5 hours when I'm not hanging out late after work, going to shows or taking trips on weekends or just sleeping all fucking day ... it's just a lot to be thrown into quickly and some days, I seriously don't even have time to cook dinner or shower. It's crazy, but it's good. It's been a good, fast-paced few weeks and I better get used to it because even after moving, my life will still be like this if not even more hectic.

A part of one of the best conversations I had this week went something like this...
"Just think, when I move to Chicago, you're going to be 21 and I'll be 23."
"Are we going to be like those 25 year old girls that get botox?"
"No, we're going to be the girls that go out to bars every night."
"Are we going to dance on tables?!"
"Sometimes."

dead men tell no tales.

Tue, 25 Jul 2006 23:35:28 GMT

For someone notoriously concerned about loyalty, you sure do run your mouth about the last girl that you should cross.

xxx

That aside, let me set the scene for you:
It was last Thursday. I was with someone, standing out in the rain, and having a smoke. I don't remember what he was talking about, but he was pretty into his conversation. I started smoking my lucky right before he came to find me, and all through his conversation I'm half-listening, and half-thinking really hard about my wish.
I wished that somebody would hire me quickly at one of the places that I applied to that day.
... and today was my first day on the job.

I've had a bad year, a lot to go through.

Fri, 21 Jul 2006 05:08:34 GMT

I enjoy seldom public entries.

Today was good. It's been months since I haven't felt like some sort of ant or tourist downtown. I started to go into my crazed, perfectionist mode at the end of the day so I had to come home before I flipped out... ha. Before that, though! I accomplished things that I had been promising myself I'd do for months. The perfect ring is still at TJ Maxx, and I still only admired it through the glass. Do you know what is [once again] the best part of being in Chicago? Having an amazing friend who will litterally punch me when I start to fall back down.

HER HEART WAS BUST.

Sat, 15 Jul 2006 02:55:47 GMT

Take note of the obnoxious smile [if only you could hear the giggles.] I think my little drawing sums up my day.

While dodging raindrops downtown, I ran into TJ Maxx where I spotted the perfect ring: a quarter-sized dark chocolate brown heart with a leopard print band. However, it was $25 and those Rancid tickets racked up a pretty hefty bill. It was really perfect for me, though! So, someone should go back and buy it asap. Consider it a birthday gift -- the only thing I truly want right now. It is 2006's red Dead End hoodie! Unfortunately, this birthday around there is no cute merch boy to haggle with... haha.

A very amazing friend said something incredibly simple but incredibly touching to me recently. It's changed my life for the time being, at least. I am almost completely positive that there is a safety net. Then, I get a little scared and think maybe I'm trying too hard, maybe I'm hoping for too much... but I don't think so. I just feel better. She knows what all this means... Come September or whenever, just to be able to seriously entertain the thought of being a part of a real safe home in a real community with real things to do with real friends in a real life is amazing, and exactly what I need. What do you do when vacations just don't cut it anymore? Pack up and move. Leaving problems in the dust and living out of a suitcase just may be what I do best.

No matter how bad things get, they will always get better.

Mon, 10 Jul 2006 04:02:33 GMT

I start to think that maybe I'm ready to open up, maybe I'm ready to do something, to be honest, to LIVE [in the open world]... then I get scared, and retreat further than before. I don't know where I'm headed anymore. I don't know if I'm coming or going, and if I am going, where the hell I am off to.

I removed everyone from my friends list a month ago (:read), and my cell phone has been turned off. When I have the courage / feel the need, I will come clean about everything.
Stay tuned & [somehow] keep in touch.

xoxo.

PS: Listen to A Permanent Holiday. ♥

Fri, 16 Jun 2006 19:10:56 GMT

Beyond the blind, vindictive suicide
Cast your shadow on my back if it clears your mind
In blood and wine, left me in never mind
Beyond a victim, you're a vampire in violent crimes
Time reveals our dirty destiny
"Whoa is me" is such a tragedy
So do us a favor, get out the gun...

You're falling down
I stand my ground
So whatever
Nothing lasts forever you'll find out
Here and now I take my vow
I'll never stand under the gun you hold so proud
Remember I will be the one, be the one

Protest and claim, get out and turn away
Take my hand or lay the blame, you know it's so frustrating
I'm fearless and serious ♥
Remain the writing on the wall and yeah, you're on my list
Take me on and take it out on me
Back into your world of make believe
So savor the flavor, soon I'll be gone

You're falling down
I stand my ground
So whatever
Nothing lasts forever you'll find out
Here and now I take my vow
I'll never stand under the gun you hold so proud
Remember I will be the one, be the one

Take me for granted
Take me for granted for the last time
This one last time...

You're falling down
I stand my ground
So whatever
Nothing lasts forever you'll find out
Here and now I stand my ground
So whatever
Nothing lasts forever you'll find out
Yeah, you'll find out
You'll find out...

Take me for granted this last time, this one last time
Take me for granted for this one last time.

FRIENDS ONLY.

Mon, 03 Nov 2003 18:43:30 GMT

EDIT--- JUNE 2006

I am not adding ANYONE to this journal for the time being. Everything will be explained soon enough. Remove me if you wish, but those who don't will ALL be added back eventually.

xo,
EMILY